Dear Guy Ahead of Me in Line at the Safeway Who Declined to Donate $.50 to Kids with Special Needs, But Then Bought Smokes and a Lottery Ticket:
You're totally going to hell.
Love, Falling
Dear Person or Committee Who Chooses Waiting Room Music:
Really? A Muzak version of Lollypop? Huh. You might also be going to hell.
Love, Falling
Dear Co-worker Who Was Rude To Me and Later Claimed Not to Recognize Me:
1) We've worked together for four years.
2) I wasn't wearing Groucho glasses
Love, Falling
***************
In other news, my friend C had her baby! (C sometimes comments as "Anonymous," but not always. I mean to say that all of C's comments are Anonymous, but not all Anonymous comments are C. See?) (That was funny when I said it out loud. If you don't find it funny, try reading it aloud. In a library. Also, be drunk.) Welcome to the world, baby T (isn't that a sweet name?)! You're a lucky girl to have such an amazing mama. Also, in about 20 years, I know this great guy. You like 'em large, right?
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Since being Catholic gives me an imagined direct line to the Pontiff, I'm going to give the creator of the Muzak version of Lollypop a pass. He/she gets another shot before being tossed into the first fiery ring.
ReplyDeleteSo, I followed your advice and went and got drunk to read your bit about C. but then I forgot why I had done it and wandered off to cry. (I'm a sad drunk)
I heard a muzak version Milkshake. THAT was weird. Also, I had to do the milkshake dance which was pretty damn awkward...and downright difficult during a pelvic. Ok I made that up but I believe it to be true.
ReplyDeleteYou tell them, those ppl are seriously jacked up.
ReplyDeleteAnd
I'm pretty sure they are going to HELL
haha. Hell. That's good stuff. Sorry you've had these hellish encounters. But as Sartre notes in his play No Exit, "Hell is other people."
ReplyDeleteWay to try to run my life MOM!
ReplyDeleteLove, Tank Baby