Exhibit A: One of Tankbaby's favorite books right now is called, Ready or Not, Mr. Croc? It's an interactive book, where you pull tabs and genial Mr. Croc stiffly pulls on pants or a coat. Each page starts with, "Mr. Croc, are you ready or not?" and he answers, "No, I'm just putting on... (my red coat, my multicolored scarf, etc.)" So he gets ready step by step, and on the last page, you read, "Mr. Croc, are you ready or not?" and flip the closet door...at which point the previously friendly, demure, and only-two-dimensional Mr. Croc LEAPS UP AND OUT AT YOU FROM BEHIND THE CLOSET WITH HIS GIANT TOOTHY JAWS OPEN and proclaims, "YES! AND I'M COMING TO GET YOU!"
And that's it. That's the end of the book. That we read every night before bed.
Exhibit B: Now that he is cruising, Tank loves to stand on the couch, using the back cushions for balance. Our couch backs up to a series of windows, each divided into six-inch panes of glass, so that at night, as he moves along the couch, he can see his reflection in each pane as he goes by. He is delighted each time and jabbers and points. I've started referring to them as the Yardbabies, and have created a story where Yardbabies live outside, watching the Chosen Indoor Baby, and plotting to eventually steal in and replace him, taking over his cushy life of milk and honey (ok, not honey because of the whole botulism thing, but you get the idea).
Exhibit C: This morning, I referred to the vacuum cleaner as "the Babyeater."
If you want know where to find me to give me my Mommy of the Year award, I'll just be over here with all the recalled cribs and lead paint.
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lol. We're so careful with Peanut, who has legendary nightmares that have him screaming for he is sleep every night...we change the words in books (our croc in that story would be going dancing) and we only have friendly monsters and ghosts in our stories. I love the replacement babies waiting outside.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your games, friend, and let's see if he sleeps at all when he's 4. ;-)
p.s. I have a great recipe for lead paint chips in the crock pot if you're interested.
The babyeater? That is too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh me too! I was gearing up to get my snark on then descended into a fit of giggle at "baby eater." Now I'm done for. Now snark for you. Just vaseline.
ReplyDeleteNaptime--Yeah, I know...the funny thing is that I am actually a total scaredy-cat and avoid things like advertisements for scary movies. I didn't realize that's how the croc book ended until I read it the first time, and was a little appalled. So now the croc comes to getcha...with tickles! Tickles from his giant, sharp teeth.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your archives, and I love how you've amended books (Ming Lo's wife, indeed).
TKW & Elly--You're just encouraging me...
Hey, I just stumbled here from Buggin' World and this is - officially - a Dark Place. The Yardbabies?!?! I'm going to have nightmares myself... but tell Tank from me that you kind of get to enjoy the nightmares when you're older!
ReplyDeleteBrokenbiro, welcome! Hello! Please don't report me to the authorities!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Oh, I am laughing so hard because you oome up with the funniest stuff! BABYEATERS? YARDBABIES? Too awesome!
ReplyDelete-Jen
Can't be original here with my comment. ME TOO! LOVE BABYEATER!
ReplyDeleteAnd I need to get that book. Will need to gift it to all newborn babies from now on!
p.s. just checked on Amazon, book out of stock! I bet your post drove the sales to record high!