Love Greg. LOVE HIM!!!

Oh ho ho, my friends.

Greg is back.

In my Facebook inbox this week:

Hey,

How are you? Hope all is well. Anxious to catch up with you. I have thought of you many times through the years. By the way, in case you don't recognize the name or the picture, it is Greg ______ and that is NOT a picture of me. It is Ed Burns. Hope to hear from you soon.

Love Greg

I couldn't make this shit up. Not even as a desperate ploy for a blog topic (I recently received my sister's blessing to steal mercilessly quote from her, and therefore have access to all kinds of brilliance. All she needs now is an alias, and an utter lack of desire to write her own blog and steal all of you away from me, and we're set for all kinds of sister-related hilarity. So I didn't need this particular bit of weirdness, although once I read it, I couldn't wait to share it with you all).

Now, class, can anyone tell me what is creepy about this e-mail? That's right: EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS E-MAIL IS CREEPY. Not the least of which is the fact that it's the fourth freaking e-mail he has sent. Also? The omitted comma in "Love Greg" makes it sound more like a command than a closing. Also? I know that there's a Facebook game about changing your profile picture to a celebrity, but would you choose the week you use a different photo as the best time to try to stalk reconnect with someone? Also, FOURTH E-MAIL. WITH NO ENCOURAGEMENT FROM ME.

Now, I believe there is some way to "block" someone on Facebook, which is probably what I should do. However, as far as I know, that will basically have the same effect as ignoring him, but without the added bonus of possible blog fodder. I suppose it is cruel to want to write a response to him solely so that I can share his response with you guys, and not much kinder to want to write a response just to point out how terribly, terribly weird it is that he keeps writing to me.

And writing to me without acknowledging the previous e-mails that I've ignored. Does that seem odd to you? And by "odd," I mean, "clamoring for a righteous reply quashing any possible hope of future friendship as well as illustrating current inappropriateness."

So. You tell me. Are we beating a dead horse here? Shall I just block him and have done with it? Or shall I write to him, politely but firmly asking him what the hell he is thinking and is he perhaps on drugs and also I am married and my husband is a giant 'roid-raging cop. With a gun. Or perhaps that I'm a giant 'roid-raging cop.

God, I hope I'm not blowing my chance with Edward Burns.