Scene From a Grocery Store

Setting: Neighborhood grocery store

Time: Eveningish

Shoes: Chuck Taylors


Me: Oh, Tankbaby. You are so cute. Can I give you a kiss?

Tankbaby: Nah. (his version of "no;" I'm from Chicago, I can dig it.)

Me: I can't? OK. How about...can you give me a kiss?

Tankbaby: Nah.

Me: Fine. Can I give Dada a kiss?

Tankbaby: Nah. (points to teenage employee, stocking soup on a nearby shelf and makes kissing noise)

Me: You want me to kiss her? (He nods.) I don't think so.

Tankbaby: (makes kissing noise and points to the girl) Mama!

Me: Yeah. Mama's not going to kiss her.

MOTH: Can Dada kiss her?

Me: Nah.

MOTH: OK. Just checking the boundaries.

Me: (clobbers him with a can of Campbell's tomato soup)

End scene.